Greetings imaginary readers! I've moved on to the pluralized form because I'd like to believe there's more than one imaginary person reading my blog. I dream big, what can I say.
Let me tell you about the stressful upcoming week I will be having and how I'm writing a blog post instead of working on a) my film analysis essay b) calc review c) chem review d) understanding what the hell is going on in biology. Next week on Monday I have my first calculus and chemistry tests (one right after the other with an hour in between I might add). I also have a five page essay on the prompt "is it possible for there to be a universal hero?" due that day. Tuesday I have my first lab practical for bio lab, which should be fun considering 1) I hate labs and b) I'm not doing too well in that class anyway. This Thursday I have an appointment with the student health clinic to have a lump on my neck checked out (yay!). It's been there for three or four months so I guess I should figure out what the problem is. The week after next I have a study abroad session (mandatory if I want to study abroad, which I do), then I have a biology test (on cell signaling which makes little to no sense. DOES NOT COMPUTE), then that Saturday I'm participating in the Pitt makes a difference day which should be fun because I like helping out. Then the next week........MY PARENTS ARE COMING TO VISIT!
Here I was assuming I was 18 and capable of being independent (to some extent). College has kicked my ass. I want my mommy. No but really, I miss my parents a lot and I'm really glad they're coming to visit for family weekend/homecoming. I hope we kick Rutger's butts.
Also, I feel I'm never going to get into medical school. My parents told me this isn't a legitimate fear as it's only my freshman year but I got an 82 on my first bio test, which isn't bad. Still, I feel like unless I have a 4.0 consistently until I die, medical school will laugh and use me as a lab rat at best. It is a legitimate fear.
I would kill for some homecooked food and some limeade. Oh how I miss thee limeade.
Yesterday I karate chopped the door shut Chuck Norris style and Tess had a good laugh. Then we had an in depth discussion about bananas.
Oh my.
College life is proving to be conisderably as equally mundane as I had expected. I need to go to a party, at least once. I'm going to a party on Halloween at least but I think most of them are up at Sutherland and I don't want to go there.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wellllllllllllllll.
Enjoy imaginarily reading this!
-Technophobe-
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
It's Alright 'cause I'm Saved by the...
If my family life were a sitcom then my current life would be the spinoff of that sitcom and it would be called Saved by the Scholarship: The College Years. Or maybe it would be more like A Different World and I would eventually become an obsolete character in the sitcom of my life and would no longer be on the show. Moving on.
My life is not a sitcom however, but I have entered the college years. I've succesfully managed to survive two whole weeks of college. Of course, being truthful, I've called my parents everday. We're super close so you know. But I retain my independence. I'm getting more adjusted as the days go by. Homework isn't as overwhelming as one might think. There is a lot of reading and I should be reading more of my chemistry book but it's just the basics right now. That, perhaps, is my biggest problem. I'm growing frustrated at the fact that we're only covering the basics of things because it feels like I've been living here for months. In reality I haven't even completed two whole weeks of class. Lame.
I don't want to go to sleep because I know when I wake up for my 8am class, I will be spending four hours in Chemistry lab. I hate laboratory settings. I do. And I don't think we have lab partners for chem lab. I'm a pretty smart girl. I don't want to toot my own horn or anything but really, I'm smart. I was smart enough to get into pitt and somehow I managed to sucker them into giving me a scholarship. I got a 1300 on my SATS and a 31 on my ACTS. I am not, by any means dull. Too the point now: however smart I may be, I always seem to have no brain when it comes to doing a lab. I feel too timid to ask questions or I just stare at my paper like I'm trying to read Chinese. It's horrible. Maybe it's lab anxiety. Whatever it is I hope I get over it because we have lab practicals in biology. I'm not sure about chem. I haven't met my actual lab instructor yet, we had a sort of stand-in last week. He was nice but he couldn't speak english very well and i have this horrifying image of a lab instructor who can't help me because he can't understand me.
Moving on again.
I got extremely sunburnt at the football game last weekend. I stayed for three quarters until it was just too much to bear and then I hightailed it out of there. I went with Kelley, my new friend from Chemistry. It was fun but it was too freaking hot. I brought a hoodie (foolish little me) thinking it might get chilly. HA. It's been warm ever since. I got so sunburnt as to get slightly sick. I may have gotten sun poisoning or something. I was so dizzy and nauseous for the rest of the day that I had to postpone my study session with Kelley for the next day. It was awful. Now, thanks to that sunburn, my face is peeling. I looked like a tomato the day of the incident. Anyway my nose is peeling, my cheeks are peeling, my forehead is peeling (and breaking out in zits). I look fabulous. Who wouldn't want to date me right now? Ugh.
I think I'm going to do laundry tomorrow. I figure if I do it while I'm reading my biology book, I'll stay more focused on bio. Rather than if I was just in my room where my computer would be sitting begging me to sit on it and click 'Stumble' aimlessly for hours. Damn you stumbleupon. Even when I could be doing something more interesting, sometimes I just sit at my computer pressing stumble until my brain melts.
Anyway. Lab in chem and calculus tomorrow and I'll be out by two. College is so exciting. not.
I'm going to apply to become a Pathfinder. Wish me luck imaginary reader. I really would like to get the job. I have to go shopping this weekend and by some dress pants and shoes because I conveniently packed nothing nice to wear for my legs. They are upset with me now.
Anyway. Moving on. Etc. etc.
-Technophobe-
My life is not a sitcom however, but I have entered the college years. I've succesfully managed to survive two whole weeks of college. Of course, being truthful, I've called my parents everday. We're super close so you know. But I retain my independence. I'm getting more adjusted as the days go by. Homework isn't as overwhelming as one might think. There is a lot of reading and I should be reading more of my chemistry book but it's just the basics right now. That, perhaps, is my biggest problem. I'm growing frustrated at the fact that we're only covering the basics of things because it feels like I've been living here for months. In reality I haven't even completed two whole weeks of class. Lame.
I don't want to go to sleep because I know when I wake up for my 8am class, I will be spending four hours in Chemistry lab. I hate laboratory settings. I do. And I don't think we have lab partners for chem lab. I'm a pretty smart girl. I don't want to toot my own horn or anything but really, I'm smart. I was smart enough to get into pitt and somehow I managed to sucker them into giving me a scholarship. I got a 1300 on my SATS and a 31 on my ACTS. I am not, by any means dull. Too the point now: however smart I may be, I always seem to have no brain when it comes to doing a lab. I feel too timid to ask questions or I just stare at my paper like I'm trying to read Chinese. It's horrible. Maybe it's lab anxiety. Whatever it is I hope I get over it because we have lab practicals in biology. I'm not sure about chem. I haven't met my actual lab instructor yet, we had a sort of stand-in last week. He was nice but he couldn't speak english very well and i have this horrifying image of a lab instructor who can't help me because he can't understand me.
Moving on again.
I got extremely sunburnt at the football game last weekend. I stayed for three quarters until it was just too much to bear and then I hightailed it out of there. I went with Kelley, my new friend from Chemistry. It was fun but it was too freaking hot. I brought a hoodie (foolish little me) thinking it might get chilly. HA. It's been warm ever since. I got so sunburnt as to get slightly sick. I may have gotten sun poisoning or something. I was so dizzy and nauseous for the rest of the day that I had to postpone my study session with Kelley for the next day. It was awful. Now, thanks to that sunburn, my face is peeling. I looked like a tomato the day of the incident. Anyway my nose is peeling, my cheeks are peeling, my forehead is peeling (and breaking out in zits). I look fabulous. Who wouldn't want to date me right now? Ugh.
I think I'm going to do laundry tomorrow. I figure if I do it while I'm reading my biology book, I'll stay more focused on bio. Rather than if I was just in my room where my computer would be sitting begging me to sit on it and click 'Stumble' aimlessly for hours. Damn you stumbleupon. Even when I could be doing something more interesting, sometimes I just sit at my computer pressing stumble until my brain melts.
Anyway. Lab in chem and calculus tomorrow and I'll be out by two. College is so exciting. not.
I'm going to apply to become a Pathfinder. Wish me luck imaginary reader. I really would like to get the job. I have to go shopping this weekend and by some dress pants and shoes because I conveniently packed nothing nice to wear for my legs. They are upset with me now.
Anyway. Moving on. Etc. etc.
-Technophobe-
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Losersayswhat?
Before I bring you my irregularly scheduled blog post let me present you (my imaginary reader) with this query. What if I wrote this entire post in Webdings? Put your mind around that.
Sorry I just fail to understand why Webdings in an optional font for this blog. Maybe some people prefer to be more cryptic than me. Anyway. I've decided to give up trying to put any purpose on this blog. It's just a way for me to let out thoughts I guess. Trying to stick to any set reason to write makes me want to do it less. I was going to do a review of the Dark Knight when I saw it like a month ago but I'm not in the mood now. It was awesome by the way. Phenomenal performances from all the actors (except Maggie Gyllenhaal. Everyone said they liked her better than Katie Holmes but I was unconvinced with her performance). Anyway, RIP Heath Ledger. There's my mini review.
I'm headed off to college Tuesday. The great unknown...more or less. Did I mention I got a big fat 4 on my Physics AP. Oh yeah, I definitely did better than failing. What now?
Anyway. College. Yes I'm off to the University of Pittsburgh. I'm looking forward to it though. My roommate seems really nice. I'm slightly dreading the onslaught of coursework I'll undoubtedly have. I have this creeping feeling that Analysis of Film is going to be much harder than it seems. If my teacher is anything like Hogan, he'll talk through the entire movie or pause it every five seconds and we'll get through one movie the entire semester. I doubt my teacher is like that.
I swear I had something important to ramble about but I guess not. My infrequent and patchy blog posts must annoy you, imaginary reader.
Until next time. (years from now undoubtedly)
-Technophobe-
Sorry I just fail to understand why Webdings in an optional font for this blog. Maybe some people prefer to be more cryptic than me. Anyway. I've decided to give up trying to put any purpose on this blog. It's just a way for me to let out thoughts I guess. Trying to stick to any set reason to write makes me want to do it less. I was going to do a review of the Dark Knight when I saw it like a month ago but I'm not in the mood now. It was awesome by the way. Phenomenal performances from all the actors (except Maggie Gyllenhaal. Everyone said they liked her better than Katie Holmes but I was unconvinced with her performance). Anyway, RIP Heath Ledger. There's my mini review.
I'm headed off to college Tuesday. The great unknown...more or less. Did I mention I got a big fat 4 on my Physics AP. Oh yeah, I definitely did better than failing. What now?
Anyway. College. Yes I'm off to the University of Pittsburgh. I'm looking forward to it though. My roommate seems really nice. I'm slightly dreading the onslaught of coursework I'll undoubtedly have. I have this creeping feeling that Analysis of Film is going to be much harder than it seems. If my teacher is anything like Hogan, he'll talk through the entire movie or pause it every five seconds and we'll get through one movie the entire semester. I doubt my teacher is like that.
I swear I had something important to ramble about but I guess not. My infrequent and patchy blog posts must annoy you, imaginary reader.
Until next time. (years from now undoubtedly)
-Technophobe-
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
"Get Smart" gets it right
Returning to my original goal of reviewing anything and everything (i.e. limeade, movies, shows, etc) I've decided to review Get Smart, which I just saw June 29th, before I see Hancock (which I'm seeing July 3rd) and review that. Getting to the point however, I've been dying to see this movie since I saw the commercials and it lives up to the potential created by its previews.
Now, I'll admit, I have never in my life watched an episode of Get Smart, though my parents have and they talk about it now and then. Sorry, I'm just too young and I don't watch TV Land enough which is sad, because Get Smart the television show was created by the incredibly funny Mel Brooks (who happens to be a co-producer for the film itself which should please any die hard show fans). Needless to say, the show did not push me to see the movie because I've never seen it. What pushed me to see the movie is the fact that I generally love Steve Carell and every commercial looked hilarious.
The movie follows Maxwell Smart (Carell), an analyist who translates foreign 'chatter' for the secret spy group CONTROL. Max has always wanted to become a secret agent so he can join the ranks of people like Agent 23 (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson), but he's failed his test seven times. The movie begins on the day that Max is scheduled to find out the results to his eighth exam. As luck would have it, the chief (Alan Arkin) tells him he passes and he eventually becomes Agent 86. He is then assigned a mission to travel to Russia with Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) and discover any terrorist links to CONTROL's arch-rival, the terrorist group KAOS. Hilarity ensues as Max and Agent 99 move past lasers, fight Russian terrorists, and find nuclear weapons linked to KAOS. And that's as far as I'm going without giving away the ending.
I thought this movie was excellent. Unlike some recent comedy films (such as almost anything starring Will Ferrell as of late) I found myself laughing more often than not. When there isn't some blatant physical humor, there are one liners and little stupid things that will have you cracking up. Some of this stuff seems to come out of nowhere and hit you in the face until you're laughing so hard you're crying. But that's what Mel Brooks is best at and it comes through in this movie. While some of the good jokes were given away in the commercials, it's not enough to ruin the movie. Unlilke some comedies where every funny bit is given away and you're left with two hours of stupidity, this movie never seems to run out of humor. The plot is interesting as well. It's not just jokes with no substance, you're actually interested in what happens right down to the very end (it's funny to the very end as well). There's a short cameo at the end from Patrick Warburton, who is hilarious, which I really liked. The actors did a fantastic job. The Rock didn't have to do much considering he played a macho idiot. There was some great chemistry between Hathaway and Carrell but my favorite characters had to be Bruce (Masi Oka) and Lloyd (Nate Torrence), the loveable computer geeks who invented much of CONTROL's superior technology and provided added humor, working especially well with Carrell.
Get Smart was, in my opinion, a very worthwhile film. I won't say I was ever skeptical, because I like most film's with Steve Carell, he is a funny guy, but for anyone that is skeptical, I recommend seeing the movie. It's a side-splitting comedy with some outrageously hilarious scenes. The plot is interesting, the comedy is genuinely funny, and the actors work well together. I'd give this movie four and a half out of five stars. It's worth shelling out seven bucks to see this and it has to be better than 'Don't Mess with the Zohan'
-Technophobe-
Now, I'll admit, I have never in my life watched an episode of Get Smart, though my parents have and they talk about it now and then. Sorry, I'm just too young and I don't watch TV Land enough which is sad, because Get Smart the television show was created by the incredibly funny Mel Brooks (who happens to be a co-producer for the film itself which should please any die hard show fans). Needless to say, the show did not push me to see the movie because I've never seen it. What pushed me to see the movie is the fact that I generally love Steve Carell and every commercial looked hilarious.
The movie follows Maxwell Smart (Carell), an analyist who translates foreign 'chatter' for the secret spy group CONTROL. Max has always wanted to become a secret agent so he can join the ranks of people like Agent 23 (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson), but he's failed his test seven times. The movie begins on the day that Max is scheduled to find out the results to his eighth exam. As luck would have it, the chief (Alan Arkin) tells him he passes and he eventually becomes Agent 86. He is then assigned a mission to travel to Russia with Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) and discover any terrorist links to CONTROL's arch-rival, the terrorist group KAOS. Hilarity ensues as Max and Agent 99 move past lasers, fight Russian terrorists, and find nuclear weapons linked to KAOS. And that's as far as I'm going without giving away the ending.
I thought this movie was excellent. Unlike some recent comedy films (such as almost anything starring Will Ferrell as of late) I found myself laughing more often than not. When there isn't some blatant physical humor, there are one liners and little stupid things that will have you cracking up. Some of this stuff seems to come out of nowhere and hit you in the face until you're laughing so hard you're crying. But that's what Mel Brooks is best at and it comes through in this movie. While some of the good jokes were given away in the commercials, it's not enough to ruin the movie. Unlilke some comedies where every funny bit is given away and you're left with two hours of stupidity, this movie never seems to run out of humor. The plot is interesting as well. It's not just jokes with no substance, you're actually interested in what happens right down to the very end (it's funny to the very end as well). There's a short cameo at the end from Patrick Warburton, who is hilarious, which I really liked. The actors did a fantastic job. The Rock didn't have to do much considering he played a macho idiot. There was some great chemistry between Hathaway and Carrell but my favorite characters had to be Bruce (Masi Oka) and Lloyd (Nate Torrence), the loveable computer geeks who invented much of CONTROL's superior technology and provided added humor, working especially well with Carrell.
Get Smart was, in my opinion, a very worthwhile film. I won't say I was ever skeptical, because I like most film's with Steve Carell, he is a funny guy, but for anyone that is skeptical, I recommend seeing the movie. It's a side-splitting comedy with some outrageously hilarious scenes. The plot is interesting, the comedy is genuinely funny, and the actors work well together. I'd give this movie four and a half out of five stars. It's worth shelling out seven bucks to see this and it has to be better than 'Don't Mess with the Zohan'
-Technophobe-
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Stopped Signs
It's 12:50 AM as I am beginning this article. I just spent the last half hour re-reading old live journal entries from when I was a sophomore and a couple from last year. I am going to graduate on June 25th. My last day of school was this last Friday. I am done with high school and I couldn't be more terrified.
For those of you who read my blog, so basically just me, here is a recap of everything that has happened to me since ninth grade as a freshman:
9th grade- I thought I could prove that girls could do anything guys could do so I took the class on small gas engines and nearly failed and passed with like a 70 something. I obsessed over a guy named Ted for eight trillion years (or just one or two) and became increasingly creepy about it. Sorry Ted, if you ever read this. Ninth grade me was a real freak but you learn from your mistakes, I've grown and I see it when I read my old LJ entries (they are ridiculous). I was also a real 'non-conformist punk' in ninth and tenth grade. Which leads me to,
10th grade- I finally got to be in the high school with the rest of the upper classmen. I 'fell in love' with a kid named Aaron who is now just a good (gay) friend. I also 'fell in love' (note the quotations. as a 15-year old, love is a very serious matter for just about any boy you think is cute for a long period of time) with a senior who played bass in the orchestra named Corey. Well that was a dandy experience. At the end of the year my friends put a letter in his car that said to come to my sixteenth birthday party and then he instant messaged me with a lovely threat to call the police. Another great year for me. I made friends with a lot of people, including Mike and Blayke(these names mean nothing to outside readers). Tenth grade saw the beginning and (thankfully) gradual decline of my anti-authoritarian, 'i hate everyone and everything' phase. Lordy.
11th grade-This is going to be a long one. This is the year I had to learn to grow up. I learned to deal with guys, for the most part, from my past experiences (sorry for being such a weirdo! I'm so embarassed). But that's not really why I had to grow up. A kid named Alex who I had known since sixth grade, had been my math partner in sixth grade, and had been in some of my other classes, drowned in the Erie canal on August 28th of 2006. Sorry to make this post depressing but it happened and for the first time in my life I had this huge sign put in front of me that said "You are not invincible" and I realized that kids did die to soon. It was really the first time anyone I had known for so long had died and it was startling because he was my age, I had a personal connection to his death because I knew him, I saw him every day. It was extremely upsetting for me. After that school started and I had to tackle three Advanced Placement courses. It's not really that much but they were my first AP classes ever and I was frightened by the amounts of homework we received. And the first day of school my friend Blayke told me she didn't want to hang out or be friends anymore but at the time it seemed so much harsher and worse than now. My dad developed a disease called avascular necrosis where the blood stopped flowing to his hip bone and he had to have it replaced. Then on March 27th, 2007 a girl that I had talked to a few times that went to my school and was friends with a lot of my friends died from a really rare form of cancer. It was heartbreaking in so many ways. Her name was Natalie and her older brother had already gotten and beaten cancer before her. She was only like a week away from her 16th birthday and I remember that whole day everyone was just so upset, it was unbearable. She was such a nice and caring person and it hit me once again that we, as teenagers, were not immune. I just couldn't understand how two people I had known who were my own age could die in the same school year. Then we found out my dad's disease had spread into his other hip and he had to have that replaced to. The stress of classes finally eased away and I went to get my lisence on June 26th, the same day that five girls from the class above me were killed in a car accident on their way to a friend's cabin. The whole school turned out to support their families and they were all over the news and some of my synical friends said "well they were texting while driving so they deserved it" or "well everyone says they were so nice but they just say that now because they're dead" and I remember thinking, 'how can you say that about anyone?'. I really don't think anyone deserves to die, least of all five girls who were just trying to enjoy their last summer before vacation. I remember going to Katie's calling hours (she was the only one that was an only child, just like me) and there was this picture on this board of pictures of her where she was a little baby lying on her dad's stomach and they were both asleep and I just started sobbing. I hadn't even known this girl ever but I had seen that same exact picture in our family photo album of me asleep on my dad and it just really hit that it didn't matter what clique she was a part of or if we ever would have been friends; we're all the same on a fundamental level. You're probably reading this now and thinking, all this tragedy couldn't occur in one school year but it did. I wish I were making this up, I really do, but junior year was the worst year so far of my life and this all really happened. I suddenly grew up amidst the deaths of peers and mountains of homework and it was terrifying. On top of all that I had to search for colleges so that I could apply in the fall. It was a horrifying experience, that entire year I mean. But things got better.
12th grade-I finally had a chance to put everything from the previous year behind me. At the beginning of the year a kid from the class above me, David, died while at college and for that whole month I thought, please don't let this keep happening. Thankfully it didn't. I got through senior year alive too. I took AP Physics, which was extremely hard at times. I failed my first test ever in my whole life (my first AP physics test: I got a solid 50.5%) but things got better and I started doing better on the tests. I actually finished with a 90 up from a 75 I think. I made new friends and got to know people better. I learned not to fall in love on a whim and allowed myself to like a guy without it being a huge part of my life. I started playing my violin in the orchestra again and I just took things day to day. I got accepted into the college I wanted to go to, the University of Pittsburgh, just to receive a 11,000 dollar a year scholarship (roughly) from a local colleege, St. John Fisher, that was my second choice school. I went to Pitt to see if they would match the scholarship and they kindly told me they wouldn't give me a cent of aid. But I didn't give up and neither did my dad. I got another scholarship from Fisher and he sent that plus a letter 'begging' them to reconsider at Pitt. They did, to my surprise. Just when I though I would have to settle, Pitt wrote back saying they would offer 10,000 dollars a year and we took it. So I was ready from everything. I was going to the school I wanted to, my grades were up, everything seem golden. And then just last week, it all seemed to hit me. When it normally hits kids at the beginning of senior year when they're applying to school, I didn't get hit until last week. There are some people I will never ever seen again after graduation and that terrifies me because some of them I see everyday and they've just become part of my life and soon they won't be. And I know when I get to college I won't really think about them, but I can't fathom that right now. I know I'm not the only person that's stood at these crossroads trembling with fear but I sure feel like it. I'm slightly terrified that I'm not ready to go out and start my new life.
So now you've heard my high school-life story and it's long and sad sometimes and boring other times. I know this isn't really my typical blog post (I also know I haven't had enough posts to really have a 'typical' post) but I just felt the need to get this all out somewhere and I like my blog a good deal.
So here's to moving on, my own personal graduation speech to myself, here's to learning from past mistakes and moving on to make better decisions. To anyone else who is, has, or will ever go through this state of being, may the road take you where you need to get. Remember, "Life is just a whim of several billion particles to be you for a while"
-Technophobe-
For those of you who read my blog, so basically just me, here is a recap of everything that has happened to me since ninth grade as a freshman:
9th grade- I thought I could prove that girls could do anything guys could do so I took the class on small gas engines and nearly failed and passed with like a 70 something. I obsessed over a guy named Ted for eight trillion years (or just one or two) and became increasingly creepy about it. Sorry Ted, if you ever read this. Ninth grade me was a real freak but you learn from your mistakes, I've grown and I see it when I read my old LJ entries (they are ridiculous). I was also a real 'non-conformist punk' in ninth and tenth grade. Which leads me to,
10th grade- I finally got to be in the high school with the rest of the upper classmen. I 'fell in love' with a kid named Aaron who is now just a good (gay) friend. I also 'fell in love' (note the quotations. as a 15-year old, love is a very serious matter for just about any boy you think is cute for a long period of time) with a senior who played bass in the orchestra named Corey. Well that was a dandy experience. At the end of the year my friends put a letter in his car that said to come to my sixteenth birthday party and then he instant messaged me with a lovely threat to call the police. Another great year for me. I made friends with a lot of people, including Mike and Blayke(these names mean nothing to outside readers). Tenth grade saw the beginning and (thankfully) gradual decline of my anti-authoritarian, 'i hate everyone and everything' phase. Lordy.
11th grade-This is going to be a long one. This is the year I had to learn to grow up. I learned to deal with guys, for the most part, from my past experiences (sorry for being such a weirdo! I'm so embarassed). But that's not really why I had to grow up. A kid named Alex who I had known since sixth grade, had been my math partner in sixth grade, and had been in some of my other classes, drowned in the Erie canal on August 28th of 2006. Sorry to make this post depressing but it happened and for the first time in my life I had this huge sign put in front of me that said "You are not invincible" and I realized that kids did die to soon. It was really the first time anyone I had known for so long had died and it was startling because he was my age, I had a personal connection to his death because I knew him, I saw him every day. It was extremely upsetting for me. After that school started and I had to tackle three Advanced Placement courses. It's not really that much but they were my first AP classes ever and I was frightened by the amounts of homework we received. And the first day of school my friend Blayke told me she didn't want to hang out or be friends anymore but at the time it seemed so much harsher and worse than now. My dad developed a disease called avascular necrosis where the blood stopped flowing to his hip bone and he had to have it replaced. Then on March 27th, 2007 a girl that I had talked to a few times that went to my school and was friends with a lot of my friends died from a really rare form of cancer. It was heartbreaking in so many ways. Her name was Natalie and her older brother had already gotten and beaten cancer before her. She was only like a week away from her 16th birthday and I remember that whole day everyone was just so upset, it was unbearable. She was such a nice and caring person and it hit me once again that we, as teenagers, were not immune. I just couldn't understand how two people I had known who were my own age could die in the same school year. Then we found out my dad's disease had spread into his other hip and he had to have that replaced to. The stress of classes finally eased away and I went to get my lisence on June 26th, the same day that five girls from the class above me were killed in a car accident on their way to a friend's cabin. The whole school turned out to support their families and they were all over the news and some of my synical friends said "well they were texting while driving so they deserved it" or "well everyone says they were so nice but they just say that now because they're dead" and I remember thinking, 'how can you say that about anyone?'. I really don't think anyone deserves to die, least of all five girls who were just trying to enjoy their last summer before vacation. I remember going to Katie's calling hours (she was the only one that was an only child, just like me) and there was this picture on this board of pictures of her where she was a little baby lying on her dad's stomach and they were both asleep and I just started sobbing. I hadn't even known this girl ever but I had seen that same exact picture in our family photo album of me asleep on my dad and it just really hit that it didn't matter what clique she was a part of or if we ever would have been friends; we're all the same on a fundamental level. You're probably reading this now and thinking, all this tragedy couldn't occur in one school year but it did. I wish I were making this up, I really do, but junior year was the worst year so far of my life and this all really happened. I suddenly grew up amidst the deaths of peers and mountains of homework and it was terrifying. On top of all that I had to search for colleges so that I could apply in the fall. It was a horrifying experience, that entire year I mean. But things got better.
12th grade-I finally had a chance to put everything from the previous year behind me. At the beginning of the year a kid from the class above me, David, died while at college and for that whole month I thought, please don't let this keep happening. Thankfully it didn't. I got through senior year alive too. I took AP Physics, which was extremely hard at times. I failed my first test ever in my whole life (my first AP physics test: I got a solid 50.5%) but things got better and I started doing better on the tests. I actually finished with a 90 up from a 75 I think. I made new friends and got to know people better. I learned not to fall in love on a whim and allowed myself to like a guy without it being a huge part of my life. I started playing my violin in the orchestra again and I just took things day to day. I got accepted into the college I wanted to go to, the University of Pittsburgh, just to receive a 11,000 dollar a year scholarship (roughly) from a local colleege, St. John Fisher, that was my second choice school. I went to Pitt to see if they would match the scholarship and they kindly told me they wouldn't give me a cent of aid. But I didn't give up and neither did my dad. I got another scholarship from Fisher and he sent that plus a letter 'begging' them to reconsider at Pitt. They did, to my surprise. Just when I though I would have to settle, Pitt wrote back saying they would offer 10,000 dollars a year and we took it. So I was ready from everything. I was going to the school I wanted to, my grades were up, everything seem golden. And then just last week, it all seemed to hit me. When it normally hits kids at the beginning of senior year when they're applying to school, I didn't get hit until last week. There are some people I will never ever seen again after graduation and that terrifies me because some of them I see everyday and they've just become part of my life and soon they won't be. And I know when I get to college I won't really think about them, but I can't fathom that right now. I know I'm not the only person that's stood at these crossroads trembling with fear but I sure feel like it. I'm slightly terrified that I'm not ready to go out and start my new life.
So now you've heard my high school-life story and it's long and sad sometimes and boring other times. I know this isn't really my typical blog post (I also know I haven't had enough posts to really have a 'typical' post) but I just felt the need to get this all out somewhere and I like my blog a good deal.
So here's to moving on, my own personal graduation speech to myself, here's to learning from past mistakes and moving on to make better decisions. To anyone else who is, has, or will ever go through this state of being, may the road take you where you need to get. Remember, "Life is just a whim of several billion particles to be you for a while"
-Technophobe-
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Might as Well Face It...
No, I'm not addicted to love, though I might be. I've never actually thought about that. We'll leave that to Robert Palmer shall we? I am however complete mentally addicted to a little show called American Idol. It represents everything I simultaneously love and hate about showbusiness and American entertainment. I know it's a relatively stupid show but you have to admit, some of the people singing on this show do have some talent. Like cute little monkey-faced David Archuletta. Even if you hate this kid, he can sing. And anyway I'm hopelessly in love with David Cook.
Think about it though. For me, regardless of whether or not you feel this way, American idol evokes many emotions in me that even a good sob-fest kind of movie can't. There is my immense hatred for Paula Abdul's outstandingly stupid comments, "That was just...absolutely...you look really nice...I'll pass...you were good...wait...well...you're a bundle of sunshine". Note that some of these things have actually been said (more or less) by the stupendously idiotic Ms. Abdul. My dislike for the annoying contestants both past and present : Constantine, Sanjaya, and Kristy Lee Cook (thanks vote for the worst! (though I do love that website)) has also evoked a familiar hateful feeling within me, couple with immense joy when they were duly kicked off. There's also the sense of struggle, right? Am I the only one who actually likes Sayesha? Maybe she's not the best singer ever but she's got a pretty freaking good voice. Anyway, the point is, you can feel a variety of emotions watching American Idol and despite the fact that it's mass-produced crap exploiting anyone decent once they get a record deal, I can't stop watching. Even if Ryan Secrest doesn't host next year. American Idol has brainwashed me and I will never get those countless hours back. Nor do I want to!
But enough about American Idol. (I hope Jason is off this week. His stoned charm has only lasted so long and he massacred Bob Marley last night) I have a busy few weeks ahead of me. Tomorrow is my AP German exam. Ich bin nicht fertig. Ich glaube, dass ich nicht gut genug bin. Ich werde meiner Pruefung failen. P.S. Failen is not a word. I think I'll be alright. I just need to be sure to read over my adjective ending sheet. You have no clue. Unless you take German or speak it, in which case you probably do. I have one other AP, Physics B. I'm a bit nervous but I think I'll do better on it than the German as I'm fairly certain it's entirely english. Though there are some greek letters (sigma F equals ma and all that). It's all greek to me. Sorry...anyway after APs I have to attend my 'pittstart' dates for University of Pittsburgh to sign up for classes and stuff. It's like a pre-orientation. Pretty much APs are the kick-off to my busy summer. June brings forth senior ball, senior bash, graduation, amidst countless graduation parties. July means my eighteenth birthday as well as my two week trip to California and then Orlando some weeks later then orientation and then college. It's all going to fly by, I know. I feel like I have a lot to prepare for but luckily the only challenging and unentertaining thing I'll be doing is the AP exams...unless I end up having to take the pre-calc final.
So now that you know my summer itenerary as well as my addiction to American Idol, I'll leave you to waste your time reading someone else's blog. As if anyone is reading this anyway!
Jeopardy is on and me and Kebert Xela have some time to spend together. College week yay!
-Technophobe-
Think about it though. For me, regardless of whether or not you feel this way, American idol evokes many emotions in me that even a good sob-fest kind of movie can't. There is my immense hatred for Paula Abdul's outstandingly stupid comments, "That was just...absolutely...you look really nice...I'll pass...you were good...wait...well...you're a bundle of sunshine". Note that some of these things have actually been said (more or less) by the stupendously idiotic Ms. Abdul. My dislike for the annoying contestants both past and present : Constantine, Sanjaya, and Kristy Lee Cook (thanks vote for the worst! (though I do love that website)) has also evoked a familiar hateful feeling within me, couple with immense joy when they were duly kicked off. There's also the sense of struggle, right? Am I the only one who actually likes Sayesha? Maybe she's not the best singer ever but she's got a pretty freaking good voice. Anyway, the point is, you can feel a variety of emotions watching American Idol and despite the fact that it's mass-produced crap exploiting anyone decent once they get a record deal, I can't stop watching. Even if Ryan Secrest doesn't host next year. American Idol has brainwashed me and I will never get those countless hours back. Nor do I want to!
But enough about American Idol. (I hope Jason is off this week. His stoned charm has only lasted so long and he massacred Bob Marley last night) I have a busy few weeks ahead of me. Tomorrow is my AP German exam. Ich bin nicht fertig. Ich glaube, dass ich nicht gut genug bin. Ich werde meiner Pruefung failen. P.S. Failen is not a word. I think I'll be alright. I just need to be sure to read over my adjective ending sheet. You have no clue. Unless you take German or speak it, in which case you probably do. I have one other AP, Physics B. I'm a bit nervous but I think I'll do better on it than the German as I'm fairly certain it's entirely english. Though there are some greek letters (sigma F equals ma and all that). It's all greek to me. Sorry...anyway after APs I have to attend my 'pittstart' dates for University of Pittsburgh to sign up for classes and stuff. It's like a pre-orientation. Pretty much APs are the kick-off to my busy summer. June brings forth senior ball, senior bash, graduation, amidst countless graduation parties. July means my eighteenth birthday as well as my two week trip to California and then Orlando some weeks later then orientation and then college. It's all going to fly by, I know. I feel like I have a lot to prepare for but luckily the only challenging and unentertaining thing I'll be doing is the AP exams...unless I end up having to take the pre-calc final.
So now that you know my summer itenerary as well as my addiction to American Idol, I'll leave you to waste your time reading someone else's blog. As if anyone is reading this anyway!
Jeopardy is on and me and Kebert Xela have some time to spend together. College week yay!
-Technophobe-
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
This is Art
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000ART00000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000ART00000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)